make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dignity is for republicans.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
