He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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