Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
