yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
