My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize