We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
