Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize