No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
