not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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