You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
