so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
