She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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