it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
