the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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