just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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