i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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