I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
