Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
