Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
