real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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