The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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