Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
