She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
