I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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