You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
