in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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