He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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