And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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