Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
