Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
