my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
