I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize