Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize