i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
