so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize