Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
