we're blogging at a bar
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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