She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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