Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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