he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
40s are totally the cure
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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