It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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