I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she smelled like a LAN party
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
