Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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