Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
