i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize