Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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