Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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