Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
