Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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