No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
