So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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