There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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