You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Randomize
