At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
