Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
