no, he came in my armpit
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
