hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Mom said you looked used
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
