yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
